mentuer.

I'm not quite sure 'angry' is the right word for this. It's stupid, really, and I don't know why I'm reacting this harshly, but I can't lie. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. The whole situation is reminiscent of one that occurred during my freshman year of college; one that turned my whole world upside down and left the most hollow feeling. It was a foreign feeling then, one I had never experienced before or since-- til now. And maybe that's why I'm feeling such an amalgamation of feelings: anger, frustration, confusion, rage, disappointment, betrayal, helplessness, hurt.. You'd think that getting royally screwed over & lied to once would be enough, but I guess not. Another year, another person, another lie. It's ok. (right?) After tonight, I won't mention this again. I won't let you see me this affected. I need to stop being so trusting; I need to stop expecting so much from people; I need to stop living so blindly; I need to stop caring about things and people far more than they care about me; I need to stop believing. I need to stop believing. I need to stop believing. I need to stop... Dammit. I can't think that way... I'm pretty sure that, despite my best efforts, I'll continue to believe-- in things, ideologies, feelings, places, people...

It's just...
Why does caring hurt so much sometimes?